You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
