Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
