I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
