Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
