I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
