the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
