turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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