i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
