i'm signing you up for texting rehab
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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