he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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