i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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