Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
