My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
