We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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