When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Randomize
