will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
