I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize