just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
