Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
