Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
