Dual....:-)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
