We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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