There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
