Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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