So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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