hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
