I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
