Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
