So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize