let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
