I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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