Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
