By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
