Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
