i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
