the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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