the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
