And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
