Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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