If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
