We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
