My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
