i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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