My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
