I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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