i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
