Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
