She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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