he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
