I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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