so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
