i barfeds in our rink
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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