why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
