Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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