I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
