a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
