He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
