Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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