just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
