I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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