I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
