Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize