i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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