turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
