My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
