yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
